Friends to dating transition

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Lovelies: Yesterday, I was talking about how awesome it was to have Jake Stein* along on the weekend trip--and also talking about how Jake and I went from being best friends to being boyfriend-and-girlfriend for a brief period.

The question of our dating came up like this: Jake and I had gone back to his apartment for a nightcap after having dinner together ... Plus, he's very tall and quite handsome--an indubitably attractive guy (whom the ladies generally love).

However, approaching your sex buddy in a way that places pressure and expectations on them is not going to give you the results you’re looking for, either.

Instead, discuss your feelings in an open way that allows your partner to do the same.

She is a certified personal trainer and holds a degree in English and psychology from Franciscan University. Moving beyond a platonic relationship changes the entire dynamic of your interaction.

Revealing your romantic interest in your friend can take an immense amount of courage because you’re exposing yourself to the possibility of being rejected. Schmitz, writing for Self Growth.com, say, “If you wait to make a commitment until you have no doubts, it will never happen.” Address the changes to the dynamic of your friendship.

But he told me he'd been mulling it over for a while, and he was serious about wanting to give things a go. And not having Jake in my life seemed unimaginably painful. Maybe incompatible phermones are to blame--who knows?

At the same time, after considering it for a minute or two, I realized that if I give it a try, my reluctance could create a weird dynamic which could very well do serious damage to the friendship--maybe as much as a failed romance would. --because there doesn't seem to be much else to explain it.

On the other hand, taking the risk and exposing vulnerability may facilitate a strong foundation for a loving relationship. Develop a mutual understanding of how your relationship may alter your interaction.

Author and professor at the University of Cambridge Terri Apter says, “Friendships between women and men are often passionate, and they are rarely simple.

Most likely, you are already giving too much because you are enamored by your "friend," notes Jeremy Nicholson in his Psychology Today article, "Escape the Friend Zone: From Friend to Girlfriend or Boyfriend." Begin asking your friend for favors, such as giving you a ride somewhere, instead of always being the accommodating one.

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