Choosing a dating profile username

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As someone who has been an online dating coach since 2003, I’d venture to guess that I’ve not only seen more usernames than just about anyone on the planet, but I’ve written more of them as well.

Why do I think that usernames make a difference, when everyone knows that it’s all about the profile and photo?

Men are quite visual and they’re instantly attracted to women based on what they finds physically attractive.

After interviewing over 60,000 single men and women over the years there’s a few common things I can say men really find attractive in women.

I don’t attribute this to an alignment of stars, to the mercy of the web gods and goddesses, or even to OKC’s algorithm, which supposedly uses questions such as “What’s worse, book burning or flag burning? Instead, I chalk up my positive online dating experiences -- which, with the exception of a brazen date who rudely shushed fellow theatergoers (referred to amongst my friends henceforth as “the shusher”), has been without horror stories -- to my careful evaluation of a potential match’s username before arranging a date.

Puns and hyper-masculine references were mostly no-gos.

None of them force you really take time to think about that step, or let you fill out the other aspects of your profile while you ponder the all-important “username” field and come back to it once the creative juices are flowing. Check out this link about a JDate user who picked an icky name.

I confess I had no idea what “tossed salad” meant, but it turns out it meant something kinda kinky that did not convey what this gal intended.

Your username, coupled with your profile picture, is the MOST visible thing in search results.

Trying too hard to perfectly sum yourself up is a common pitfall. Generally you should avoid anything with numbers, or super descriptive words (Ski Girl Seattle is very boring, even if it’s easy to come up with—and it only conveys information we’d be able to find in other areas of her profile).

It’s also best not to just recycle whatever old school internet handle has been your Twitter username and forum login info for years—stuff we created c.

The first step if you didn’t already know, is to have an attractive online dating profile photo to catch attention in the first place.

Without a great photo the chances are your username won’t even matter.

There’s nothing unique, memorable or distinguishing. One of my favorite usernames was The Goose Whisperer, written for a client named Bobbi in 2005. So if you’re wondering how to come up with a clever name that gets attention, and attracts a like-minded person with a great sense of humor, I have an exercise that can help you come up with usernames just like the ones I mention above.

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