Dating in the computer age—There’s Tinder, Grindr, Match, OKCupid, Farmers Only, Beer Passions, Clown Lovers, Fetster, Craigslist Casual Encounters…the list is endless.
Each week, Popdust’s intrepid reporter, Suzy Mc Coppin, goes deep undercover in order to guide you through the potentially murky waters of cyber lovin‘. Number of Correspondences: 22 Best pick up line: "I have a .24 credit at Pay Less Shoes." Worst Pick Up Line: "I've never been on Jerry Springer." I mean, so you don't even have an IMDB page? HOTTEST GUY: Sure Brad is the color of a burnt sienna crayon, but the man is not afraid of a sit up Approach/chat up line: “I love doing rape fantasies, and I have a lot of scenarios to play with.” Conversation/Rapport skills: He actually turned out to be a TV writer, so, as far as rapists go, he was quite witty and articulate.
Can you really swipe, click, match, wink your way to true love? (There's a joke here about a rapist having a rapier wit, but I'm just too tired.) Closing skills: Went dark on me after I sent him a picture of myself in a bunny costume.
WEEK TWO: Craigslist Casual Encounters As Popdust reported in week one—Tinder is for people looking for no strings attached sexy time—Meanwhile, J Date is for people looking to get married, Farmers Only is for people looking to hoe, and for people who are looking to be forcibly sodomized and carved up with a set of antique surgical instruments, there is. Note to self: Don’t mix your furries with your doms.
At some point (most likely due to Jade's prophetic influence) he befriended John, Rose, and Jade through the internet, and often talks with them on Pesterchum Though he did have the game, Dave, unlike John and Rose, had no interest in Sburb and thought it was a total piece of shit, going so far as to and further antagonize John for wanting to play the game.
For work I'm a lampworker which means I melt glass to make things, I have a small holding and I'm a bit of a homesteader.
no capitalization UNLESS STRESSING OR EMPHASIZING, no punctuation except for occasional ellipsis, question marks, commas or exclamation points, and also sometimes uses asterisks to emphasize after adopting it from karkat Dave Strider is one of the main characters in Homestuck, and the third kid to be introduced.
He is obsessed with being cool, which manifests itself in his unceasing pursuit of new ironic depths.
GUY MY MOM WOULD WANT ME TO DATE: Not applicable HELL TO THE NO: (Not because of the gimp mask. Also the Lacoste shirt seems dated, and not in a good way.) Preppy Gimp—Versatile enough for the country club and the dungeon His Approach/Chat Up Line: “My fly is open.” -Not in that picture it's not. I do not have a foot fetish per se, but I do suffer from Plantar Fasciitis—a painful disorder of the ligaments characterized by inflammation or structural breakdown of the foot. Anyway, the doctor said the best treatment for plantar fasciitis is regular massages and since Popdust’s salary doesn’t allow for luxuries like massages and say, food, I decided to combine this undercover endeavor into a mélange of perverse practicality. His hair was a cascading mane of scarlet splendor and I suspect from the back he could have been easily mistaken for Amy Adams.
Conversation/Rapport skills: Consistent with his fashion sense. And maybe he posted this add in 2008, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is possibly the best guy ever. I found my would-be masseuse in Heinrik, a pint-sized, flame-haired bassist for a Metallica cover band. In related news, the night manager at Curves once told me I look like Jon Voight. Anyway, Amy—I mean Heinrik—was horny for some feet and it just so happened that I had two, so invited him in to admire the splendid canvas that is my diamond dogs.
It was suggested in the author commentary of Homestuck book three that Dave was physically and emotionally abused by him, with evidence such as in Act 3 where he was starved by his Bro among other things.